Age
Fanny Dashwood calculates that she is “hardly forty.”
Family and Situation
Mrs. Dashwood is the second wife and widow of Henry Dashwood and the mother of Elinor, Marianne and Margaret Dashwood. She is also the stepmother of John Dashwood but, we know, does not get along with his wife Fanny.
Though Henry had intended to save up to provide for his wife and daughters, his own income, apart from his inheritance at Norland Park was quite limited and Norland was entailed in such a way that he could not break a part off to provide for the ladies. The narrator tells us that when Henry died “ten thousand pounds, including the late legacies, was all that remained for his widow and daughters.”
We have little information on Mrs. Dashwood’s upbringing, but we know her daughters are affected by the succession of Norland because she “had nothing” to bring into the marriage. However, the narrator does describe Mrs. Dashwood as “a woman who never saved [money] in her life.” Additionally Mrs. Dashwood says to her daughters “It is very right that you SHOULD go to town; I would have every young woman of your condition of life acquainted with the manners and amusements of London,” suggesting she likely had a London season herself. Overall, the picture painted is that she may not have been well-dowered, but seems to have been brought up in a genteel family.
We also know that Sir John Middleton is “a relation” of Mrs. Dashwood’s own, suggesting at least some gentility in the family. The narrator tells us that Mrs. Dashwood would have considered Devonshire too far to relocate before she became desperate to escape cohabitating with Fanny Dashwood, so it may well be that the Middletons were not especially close to Mrs. Dashwood’s branch of the family.
After she married Henry Dashwood, they lived together at a place called Stanhill for a number of years before Henry’s uncle encouraged them to come live at Norland Park, the place Henry would one day inherit. In settling Henry Dashwood’s estate, Fanny says “When [John’s] father and mother moved to Norland, though the furniture of Stanhill was sold, all the china, plate, and linen was saved, and is now left to [Mrs. Dashwood].”
Of Fanny and Mrs. Dashwood’s relationship we are told: “The contempt which [Mrs. Dashwood] had, very early in their acquaintance, felt for her daughter-in-law, was very much increased by the farther knowledge of her character, which half a year's residence in her family afforded; and perhaps in spite of every consideration of politeness or maternal affection on the side of the former, the two ladies might have found it impossible to have lived together so long, had not a particular circumstance occurred to give still greater eligibility, according to the opinions of Mrs. Dashwood, to her daughters' continuance at Norland./This circumstance was a growing attachment between her eldest girl and the brother of Mrs. John Dashwood.”
Appearance
At one point, Fanny Dashwood describes her as “stout and healthy.” As both Elinor and Marianne are described as attractive, it seems likely Mrs. Dashwood was as well as one time, if not now.
Character
Mrs. Dashwood is noted as being the origin of Marianne’s tremendous emotional volatility -- we are even told of Marianne that “the resemblance between her and her mother was strikingly great.” In the midst of mourning their deceased father and husband, we are told “They encouraged each other now in the violence of their affliction. The agony of grief which overpowered them at first, was voluntarily renewed, was sought for, was created again and again. They gave themselves up wholly to their sorrow, seeking increase of wretchedness in every reflection that could afford it, and resolved against ever admitting consolation in future.” We also know that, like Marianne, she can be very engaging; as she attempts to get to know shy Edward Ferrars, we are told “Her manners were attaching, and soon banished his reserve.”
This can also cause Mrs. Dashwood to be petty. When Fanny Dashwood (with John in tow) turns up to take possession of Norland Park immediately after the funeral of Henry with no advance warning, Mrs. Dashwood is very upset because “in HER mind there was a sense of honor so keen, a generosity so romantic, that any offence of the kind, by whomsoever given or received, was to her a source of immovable disgust. Mrs. John Dashwood had never been a favourite with any of her husband's family; but she had had no opportunity, till the present, of shewing them with how little attention to the comfort of other people she could act when occasion required it.”
Mrs. Dashwood also have very fixed and romantic notions about love and matchmaking. She is insistent that husband-hunting is not a hobby to which her daughters have been brought up and the narrator tells us that while some mothers might have limited Elinor and Edward’s romance out of prudence, Mrs. Dashwood didn’t “It was enough for her that he appeared to be amiable, that he loved her daughter, and that Elinor returned the partiality. It was contrary to every doctrine of hers that difference of fortune should keep any couple asunder who were attracted by resemblance of disposition; and that Elinor's merit should not be acknowledged by every one who knew her, was to her comprehension impossible.” On a later occasion, Mrs. Dashwood herself says “I have never yet known what it was to separate esteem and love.”
Fairly unique among matrons in many of Austen’s novels, Mrs. Dashwood’s character and ideas do evolve over time. Though initially she is confused by Elinor’s affection for Edward, once she gets to know him “She speedily comprehended all his merits; the persuasion of his regard for Elinor perhaps assisted her penetration; but she really felt assured of his worth: and even that quietness of manner, which militated against all her established ideas of what a young man's address ought to be, was no longer uninteresting when she knew his heart to be warm and his temper affectionate.” Mrs. Dashwood also comes to see that her instincts about Willoughby are quite wrong (though she never acknowledges as much), and comes to root for Colonel Brandon as suitor for her middle daughter.
